Ok, here's where security gets a little trickier. I even told several little white lies in this stage and I highly recommend that you do too.
First of all, I got a fake phone number specifically for showing the house. I'll tell you more about that here. It was nice because people can't search for it on the internet and find other random info about me, it was specific to the house.
Remember, most honest buyers are very nervous about calling you. They don't know that you aren't a scammer or a risk to their safety so they are often just as guarded and wary as you are. Start out with small talk specific to the house and what they are looking for. Ask questions like:
"How did you hear about my home?"
"Do you have a real estate agent?"
"When do you want to move?"
Things like that so the buyer gets the feeling that you are not after their personal info but rather honestly trying to sell a house. This is where it comes in handy that you have set up a website with a lot of pictures, details, and info about the house. Ask them if they have seen the site. This is often where right away you can gauge their interest level. Most potential buyers love the anonymity of shopping the web first and will have poured over all info available about your home. They will start asking you extremely specific questions about the house that are not covered in your info. I got questions like how tall the garage door is (for a camper), if I would consider leaving the fridge, if the gas fireplace had a blower, etc. These are the signs that you are talking to someone who is legitimately interested in your home.
If they have not seen the site at all I gave them the info to look at it. At this point you really could be speaking to anyone and you kind of have to trust your gut. A few times I asked them to look at the site and then call me back if they are still interested to schedule an appointment. A truly interested buyer will not be put off by this as long as you are polite and kind about it.
This is also a sort of built-in security feature. Most thieves probably would not go to the trouble of checking out all your house details and calling you back again. Also, if someone gives you a bad feeling, you can always say something like, "I have another call, can I take down your name and number real quick and call you back?" Most people (even the honest ones) won't give you their name and number at this point but the honest ones will spend some time looking at your house online and will call you back if they are still interested.
Because you have set up such a detailed website, I would not show your home to anyone unless they have looked over the website and have spoken to you on the phone about the home. Not only does it separate out legitimately interested buyers from anyone looking to do harm, it also significantly narrows down how many showings you will actually have to do. I can tell you that every time I actually showed my house it was to someone with whom I had already had at least one personable phone conversation and someone who already knew a lot about the house before ever setting foot inside.
For setting appointments I generally did not have a problem with people. Just to be on the safe side I told a few white lies when it came to my schedule. I work part-time but always have evenings and weekends off. I never told anyone when I wouldn't be home but if they requested a time that I wasn't going to be home, I usually told them I had another appointment to show the house at that time. While I didn't come out and say it, I sort of presented our situation like I was a stay-at-home mom and my husband telecommuted, both of which are partially true. I just wanted a dishonest person to not be able to predict when/if my husband and I would be home. A few other little white lies I told when I wasn't going to be home where things like saying we were having family over for dinner or a relative's birthday, my husband is working at home and has a conference call and can't be interrupted at that time, and I'm meeting a mortgage lender at my house at that time. I figure an honest buyer only cares when I will be able to show the house, not what I'm actually doing when I'm unavailable, right?
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